either way he was missing a nipple.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
