My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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