the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I understand Curling. That high.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
