he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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