he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
