I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
