I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
