Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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