dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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