cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
