I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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