1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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