a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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