Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
