Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
