Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
