Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
