My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
