Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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