Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
