pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
