Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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