I murdered the dance floor call the cops
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
