i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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