He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
