and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
