I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
