I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
