No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
pray to the hookup gods
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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