She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
