Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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