I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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