Did you just see the Batmobile???
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
