the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
NoShamevember. You game?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
