wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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