that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
