sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
