69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Michael Bay diarrhea
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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