somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
