Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my being single is dangerous.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
