I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
God, I missed his penis.
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