I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize