I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
