I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
