idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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