vagina is talking i cant
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize