nut hugger
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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