I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
