Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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