And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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