and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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