She said her name was "party"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
