she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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