There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
