U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
