i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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