I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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