Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
