Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
