how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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