it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize