You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize